Many women these days feel like they parent their partners instead of relying on them. And how wouldn’t they, when they are left to play teacher, chef, nurse, maid, chauffer, and even special events coordinator.
It’s Not The Kids… It’s the Husband!
Sadly, for most women, as challenging and demanding as motherhood is, their hubbies have even bigger effect on their stress levels. As a matter of fact, a survey done by Today of more than 7,000 mothers found that the average mother rates her stress levels an 8.5 out of 10, and 46 percent of women blame their husbands for their stress. As summarized by the researchers:
- Mothers stress most about not having enough time to do everything that has to be done
- 3 in every 4 mothers with partners say that they do most of the parenting and household chores
- 1 in every 5 mothers says not having enough help from their partner is a main source of stress
In addition, a team of researchers from the University of Padova have found that this carries over into a significant difference in health when one of the partners dies. Namely, when husbands lose their wives, their health worsens. On the flip side, when women lose their husbands, they become healthier and better at dealing with stress.
Why Are Husbands Stressing Their Wives Out?
Husbands Can Step Up More
There are a few different factors that play a role here. From one particular point of view, mothers expect support from their partners when it comes to taking care of the family, things like homework duties and doctor appointments. However, even in the families when both parents are busy and are working full-time, it is very common for women to be left with these responsibilities.
How To Fix It: If your partner doesn’t help you with the at-home responsibilities, talk with them about this and compile a list of all the tasks that need to be done. Starting a shared calendar is a good idea, so that you will not be worried about forgetting things and important dates.
Wives Can Step Back More
Blaming your partner for not taking more at-home responsibilities seems easy, but very often, they might be really trying hard to be the best father and the best husband. Sometimes, the problem can be that mothers are not trusting their partners to let them take on more.
How To Fix It: Women have great vision for their families, but if executed improperly, it might seem much easier to do things yourself than ask the partner to participate. Don’t forget to value yourself and your time, even if that means your kids are out with your partner in clashing outfits.
Put Some Spark In Your Relationship
Parenthood affects the relationship to great extent, oftentimes making it easy to put the relationship aside. But, you are not just parents; you are individuals and partners too. Nourishing the relationship is important both in the short and in the long run.
How To Fix It: Commit a certain amount of time to each other! This will keep your connection strong and help you face any challenges easier. In the long run, both you and the children will benefit from this.